I’d like to tell you that whilst writing this blog post I’m in a lovely warm country, sat on a sun bed with a sea view… but I’m not. I’m sat at my desk, in my beautiful home; right where it all started. I mean, if you want to get technical then my blog didn’t exactly start in this exact spot since I’ve moved out from my parents house (one thing amongst many that has happened in the last two years) – but the majority of the work you see on my blog is brainstormed and brought to life where I am right now.
T W O Y E A R S
How? I still question daily, how did I get here? How did this even start? It’s been two whole years, 730 days and approximately 17520 hours (of course I googled that) since I clicked publish on my first blog post. This tiny little corner on the internet that you’ve ended up on is one of the biggest parts of my life and two years ago my life genuinely changed forever. I’m still the same person and I still do the same things, but now – I have a whole world of online friends, I’ve discovered brands I’d never have stumbled upon without my blog, visited places I’ve never been to and allowed myself to pour my heart and soul into each and every individual blog post I’ve clicked publish on.
When you click on my blog, scroll down and see hundreds of beauty reviews you’d think that it was my only passion; but it isn’t. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE MAKEUP, I love beauty, skincare and everything that I write about on here but I’ve loved writing ever since I was a young kid. It took me right up until I was 17 and writing 20,000 word assignments at college (when the minimum required would only be 1000 as it was – shocker Deb!) for me to realise that I actually enjoyed sitting in front of a screen and typing away. Watching every letter and word unfold right before my eyes as the things I thought about in my mind came to life. When you enjoy two things and put them together you can create wonderful work. At least, I think so. Before in college, I was writing about the hospitality industry and when my tutors sat me down and told me I could easily write educational textbooks it gave me this burst of encouragement for a dream I didn’t know I even had.
When my college education came to an end I was in a place where I didn’t know what my future held, I lost love for something I thought I would be doing my whole life and all of a sudden I was handed down a family business that I had no idea was my future. Whilst dwelling for a space to share my thoughts and love for all things beauty I decided to do a little bit of research and thats where the early days of my blog began. Some people won’t understand, but as a new business owner of the pride and joy that my parents had worked on their whole life I felt a bit lost. I was thankful, so so thankful. I can’t stress enough how much I love my business, the work I do and the life I get to live… but something was missing. I needed something new to take control over, something I could whole-heartedly call MINE. Debra-Bow was born (or should I say re-born since, ya’ know… I was born over twenty-one years ago) and I finally had my own corner on the internet to do whatever I wanted with.
At the time I was a good five years into watching YouTube videos and reading blogs, if you’ve read my ‘how the internet saved my anxiety‘ post you’ll know that I had little to no social life as a teenager and spent the majority of my time stuck to my computer. Watching into other lives. I created a blog when I was about 15, published one post about magnetic nail varnish and never logged back in again in fear that somebody from school would find out. I remained a ‘viewer‘ when all I wanted to be was the creator. I’ll admit that writing a blog wasn’t always the dream since the beginning, I enjoyed reading others but it never crossed my mind about doing it the way they did; seriously. My heart was mostly stuck on YouTube but once again, the fear of somebody finding it terrified me.
Fast forward to November 2015 – I was in a happy place, I was (and still am) in a very happy, strong relationship with somebody that supports me and pushes me to make my dreams come true every single day. I was surrounded by people that understood my need to write and start a blog and I had finally gotten rid of that voice in my head reminding me of all those mean school kids. I signed myself up, played around with themes and layouts and finally shared my blog to the rest of the world for the first time, two years ago today. Nothin’ was stopping me now, nobody and nothing.
I went on to publish a handful of posts in the first few weeks and started to grow in a blogging community on Twitter where I spoke to bloggers doing the same thing as me. Most of them passed by or remained ‘silent‘ but a good bunch of them stuck with me. I’ve made some AMAZING friend’s through blogging, some that feel like they’ve been in my life since day one. It’s another feeling, clicking with somebody you’ve met by doing this little thing. I’ve met a lot of those close friends and some still remain that extra mile away (which will soon be changed) that have proven to me how amazing they are in real life as well. They do not overwrite my home friends, nor do my home friends overwrite my blogging friends – they’ve all become a part of my life in one way or another and are all as equal as each other. My OG friends, my blogging friends and the people that read my blog that I’ve never spoken to before, thank you. God, you mean more to me than anything and if this whole blogging thing fails then at least I know I’ve made secure friendships with people I’d never have met otherwise.
Some of my friends and family still don’t get why I do this, but what they’ve never failed to do is read my posts and tell me I’m doing alright ya’ know? You’ve all picked me up when I’ve been down and without that I would never have got to this point in my life where I was and still am confident to keep publishing blog posts, sharing them on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and even telling strangers about it when the topic comes up. I never hesitate sharing things anymore and wondering who’s going to be reading it and what they’ll think because somewhere along the line I’ve picked up this “who the fuck cares anymore? NOT ME” mentality and it’s amazing. Of course anxiety, paranoia and all those self-worth questions fly around my mind but my blog was started for ME and thats why I’ll carry on for as long as I’m capable of. If I die today, at least I left a little bit of me somewhere in the world. They do say once something reaches the internet it will never truly be gone, don’t they? I’d like to think so. Without the support from people all over the place I never would have believed I could do something like this.
So from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Thank you if you’re new here, thank you if you’re an old reader and thank you to all of the brands and people that have supported me on my two year journey. I promise you, I’m not done yet.