It’s no secret that the last six months of my life have been completely out of the loop. If you haven’t read my previous update on everything that’s been going on then I suggest heading over there first before continuing this one. 2018 has brought many incredible opportunities to my doorstep but it hasn’t brought many blog posts (I’m sorry)… I’ve never wrote so many updates in such a short amount of time in the whole two and a half years that my blog has existed but theres been some good reasons behind them, I promise.
It’s not that I fell out of love with my blog, writing, the industry or anything like that but the simple fact of the matter was I NEEDED A BREAK. I started this blog with the sole intention of sharing my passion for the beauty industry by writing all of my crazy thoughts out in an online space that I call my blog… it’s been my happiness, my therapist through the hardest times of my life and my job all in one but with a mixture of life events happening this last few months I had to take a step back into reality to really consider where I wanted to be in life, without the distraction of my blog. I also took some overdue time to just enjoy the company of my friends and family.
I’ve spent the majority of the last 3 months hanging out with friends and family, growing friendships and relationships stronger and simply finding the person that I’m meant to be. My blog has always been a happy place for me but I never wanted to force content out there, just because. Avid readers of my blog will totally understand and I appreciate your patience SO MUCH, the support from everybody is what keeps me doing what I love so much. Before this lil’ social media break, I didn’t really understand the importance of stepping away from something you enjoy so much until I didn’t have much choice BUT to let it take the back seat. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve still been here and there on Twitter and Instagram but I wanted to be in a really good mind-set before I wrote again… until then I’ve just enjoyed doing my own thing, at my own pace with all of my happy people.
FINDING HAPPINESS AGAIN, AND AGAIN, *AND* YOU GUESSED IT: AGAIN
I spoke about finding happiness again in my previous update but I can’t express enough to all of the people in my life how good I’m feelin’ about life right now. I really do suggest having a break from a few things every now and again just taking time out for yourself, it can change so much and mentality wise – it’s completely changed my life. Sometimes stepping back from everything and viewing certain situations from a slightly different perspective makes all of the difference, it did for me. I made some massive life changes back at the beginning of the year and since then, more and more happiness has made its way over to my life and its the break I’ve truly needed for such a long time. I cleansed away people who no longer served me any purpose and held the ones that do so much closer… it gave me more of a chance to appreciate those people that continuously support me through all of the ups and downs and my friendships have never been stronger. It really is true what they say when people tell you that giving your time to somebody is the most valuable gift you can give.
The people in my life right now are all incredibly special to me, whether its a close friend or family member, distant friend or just a stranger on the internet who finds themselves reading my blog and supporting my dream on a daily basis. I APPRECIATE YOU!
I’ve lost people who I thought would be in my life forever, but I’ve also gained new people who have better intentions for me in a short space of time than the lost people ever did. I’ve learnt that “time is not a measure of quality, of infatuation, or of love.” – I’m finally laughing every single day, like really laughing… y’know the kinda’ laughter you have with your friends on a late night where your face starts aching and you can’t breathe? That. But every day. I KNOW (I thought it was impossible). I wake up each morning with excitement and motivation to get the best out of that day as possible and it’s transformed my life. There’s nothing wrong with your own company but once you get a taste of consistent love, security, happiness and laughter from special individuals you’ll change your whole outlook on life. Maybe you’ve always had that, but after a long battle of grief, anxiety and broken friendships/relationships – finding happiness that I couldn’t remember ever feeling again is amazing.
Finding happiness again has had an incredible knock on effect in all aspects of my life – but anxiety wise, things are looking up and thats one of the best parts of this update. Before, I was sharing my battle with anxiety and what the next plan of action was but now it feels so good to finally share how good things are. I’ve learnt that being in certain environments with certain people, no matter how good you feel like they are in your life, it can be massive root to your anxiety. It’s taken so much hard work in identifying and accepting things but once I did the coping and preventive mechanisms I worked on with my therapist helped me excel in all parts of my life. Anxiety has a funny way of making you think something is your ‘safe place‘ even if its not, which in negative turn – fuelled my anxiety. Being in a new place, with special people and big plans has motivated me with my life and I’m finally excited to live every day. I once believed I would never live without anxiety, but now, even still with bad days here and there I believe that one day the worst time of my life will be a distant memory. We all got this.
BEING MORE SPONTANEOUS
Living a life where anxiety ruled every single thing I did down to picking up a package from a neighbour meant being spontaneous with my life plans were pretty much ~non existent~ BUT, you’ll all be proud of me in the amount of things I’ve spontaneously done recently, maybe I’ll share some recent experience in later posts. I’ve always been a spontaneous person at heart, my dad being the one to tell me that all of my biggest life decisions have been made that way but I lost myself for a lil’ while and thats ok. I feel like this year has been the biggest year in my adult life yet in terms of enjoying my life again. I can *just about* make last minute plans again that don’t need days and hours of intense thought because anxiety convinced me something bad would happen. HURRAY.
Izzy and I took a holiday to Portugal where we spent the whole week just enjoying some good food and even better company in as much sunshine as we could get a hold of. I celebrated my 22nd birthday surrounded by some incredibly special people. I got more tattoos *yay* (sorry mum) and I made some of the biggest career decisions of my LIFE. Finding happiness again has taught me a lot of things, and one of them is to always make positive changes where change can be made. It’s ok having a positive and happy mindset, but its not ok if you’re stuck somewhere that doesn’t allow you to feel like that all day, every day. I know its easier said than done in MANY cases, but if something has been playing on your mind for a while then take my advice, from my own experience… and make a change (now I have Michael Jackson singing Man In The Mirror stuck in my head, apologies in advance). I’ll talk about a few particular subjects in their own posts in the next coming weeks.
CONTINUING MY PASSION FOR THIS BLOG
Although I haven’t been posting regularly on here recently, I have been doing lots of behind the scene work. You can’t get rid of me that easily (hahahaha). I have stacks of notes piled up on my work desk ready to produce so much content, full of new products I’ve recently discovered, old products I’ve re-discovered and just a bunch of life stuff. The motivation and excitement is back for real. I never stop working on this blog, even when it looks like I have so trust me on this one… I have some exciting collaborations with brands that I think you’ll LOVE just as much as I do and all in all, I’m ready for whats to come.
I’m back, on my blog, and in myself, for good this time.